i could use a good laugh
if everybody got a free miniature animal at birth that protected you, like a tiny elephant or dragon, the world would be a better place.
why do bad movies happen to good actors
why do bad movies happen to good books?
i was at the gay pride festival and my mom saw an openly mtf woman walking through the wading pools there in fancy clothing and my mom’s eyes widened and she whispered, “that is an absolute atrocity” and i was like wtf mom not cool and then she continued “shes going to wreck those high heels if she walks through the water like that”
today I burned my tongue on a piece of pizza and I think that it’s a very strong metaphor that sometimes the things you love most in life will hurt you.
or you should wait for it if you love it.
friends with different opinions than you
friends with different opinions than you that won’t shut up about how much they hate a certain thing and feel the need to say how awful it is over 30 times and make you feel like shit for liking it
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do